Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Reading
I went to What the Book used bookstore and the Kyobo Bookcenter when I visited Seoul the 15th-16th, and have spent a lot of my out of school time reading since then (partially, I caught a pretty bad cold last weekend and spent most of my time resting. Also I just really like to read).
I read Ender's Shadow, which follows the same timeline as Ender's Game-- probably one of my favoritest books, if someone was to make me choose-- but from Bean's perspective. Christian told me he liked it better, and I think with good reason. Bean is in a lot of ways more socially isolated but also less self absorbed- he is much more aware of himself and able to read what's going on around him. I spent a lot of time thinking about my brain and other people's brains and how we are shaped by experiences and all sorts of good things.
At the same time I started No god but God by Reza Aslan. I don't feel like I can sum this book up sufficiently without it's own really long post, but I'll write a start, at least. Aslan wrote this book as an introduction to the "history, evolution, and future of Islam" and did so with a readable grace that I am very grateful to have found. He describes the the Middle East-- already centered around pilgrimage to Mecca-- into which Muhammad was born. He describes Muhammad's life and the various states and theologians and movements and mystics that have followed after Him and his Quran. I have learned a lot about Islam, and been growing in how I think about religion and spirituality from reading this. (I have been just reading one chapter a day, so a still have a few days left before I finish.)
Next I read The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck. Buck was raised in China (her American missionary parents moved there when she was about 2 years old) speaking both English and Chinese. So, while her book has gotten criticism for being a story about 'real' Chinese farmers written by a White American, she was actually pretty informed in what she was writing. The prose is 'simple' to a fault. It reads in an almost train-of-thought flow that shares this Chinese farmer's perspective on the events and people in his life and --impressively for her background-- does this without judgment or any sense of cultural or moral superiority. Buck definitely highlights how awful women's condition was in China, but she makes them and the men in the book real people who interact and think about what best to do with that condition. There are no real heroes in this book--there is a lot of luck, good choices, and bad choices. I don't think this should be the only book you read if you want to understand China-- even if you only want to understand China before 1949-- but is a lovely novel to start with.
I am now reading Soul Mountain by Gao Xingjian, who was the first Chinese author to receive a Nobel Prize for Literature. I am only on page 70 of about 500, so I can't tell you its big picture. Thus far it follows two journeys ('mine' and 'yours', which I suspect might both belong to the author, but at different points in time?) in remote parts of China, searching for meaning and self. At this point, I can already pretty confidently recommend it to anyone who has seen different possible lives/versions of themselves while traveling or meeting new people or investigation new ideas or spending time in nature. Ummm. So pretty much everyone. I guess just if you like to read.
Recently I read The Probability Broach by L. Neil Smith ('recently' and 'finally', as an uncle gave this to me a few years ago and it took a while to catch up with my in my travels). It advertises itself as a "Libertarian science fiction adventure!" and does not disappoint. It is an Alice-down-the-rabbit-hole alternate history, which (while a bit pedantic more than once) is an excellent medium for what the book is trying to do. It shows a USA where the Whiskey Rebellion was successful and its spirit continued to define American politics, and thus provides a model of Libertarian government. It gave me a lot to think about and economically and politically, and the show-not-tell of a novel is a great way to learn a new way of seeing the world (though Smith also does a fair amount of telling through his 'propertarian' characters, so be ready).
I read the first part of A. S. Neill's Summerhill School just before going to Seoul (and then the tone changed a bit in Part 2, and I found new books, and I moved on, fickle reader that I am!). Along with The Life and Work of Maria Montessori by E. M. Standing that I read about a year ago, this helped me re-understand and appreciate my mother's motivation for homeschooling Isaac and I, and gave me a lot of insight into how intellect and emotions develop. Neill founded a school where students are not required to do anything-- if they break something (well, some things) they have to pay for it, and there are rules set by the students and staff together about being quiet at night and such-- but they don't have to go to lessons, ever, if they don't want to. And when students arrive there from the public school system, they don't want to. It takes usually weeks or months and sometimes years before students realize that they WANT to learn and want help doing it. Some students never go to lessons and study entirely on their own, in whatever subjects they like. His students, for the most part, end up successful and generally more confidently creative than their counterparts in public schools.
I have been reading Your Life As Story by Tristine Rainer off and on since I bought it at Prairie Lights in Iowa City in August. It's a book about writing autobiography (if you couldn't tell) and does a lovely job of talking about the squishy ideas of how to write about your life with solid examples and advice-- and a lot of respect for how squishy it is. The paragraph that is sticking out most in my mind is one where she talks about how subjective and changable memories are in time and relationships. Depending on how old I am and who I am talking to, my telling of various events in my life change drastically.
Oh man! And I finally read Watchmen, which was good and thoughtful and educational if also graphic. And earlier this year I read Transmetropolitan at Christian's behest (and he is reading Oracle Bones by Peter Hessler-- which I cannot recommend too strongly if you want to learn about China!). Dystopian futures! Adventure! Good brain food.
I'd love more book recommendations! Love!
I read Ender's Shadow, which follows the same timeline as Ender's Game-- probably one of my favoritest books, if someone was to make me choose-- but from Bean's perspective. Christian told me he liked it better, and I think with good reason. Bean is in a lot of ways more socially isolated but also less self absorbed- he is much more aware of himself and able to read what's going on around him. I spent a lot of time thinking about my brain and other people's brains and how we are shaped by experiences and all sorts of good things.
At the same time I started No god but God by Reza Aslan. I don't feel like I can sum this book up sufficiently without it's own really long post, but I'll write a start, at least. Aslan wrote this book as an introduction to the "history, evolution, and future of Islam" and did so with a readable grace that I am very grateful to have found. He describes the the Middle East-- already centered around pilgrimage to Mecca-- into which Muhammad was born. He describes Muhammad's life and the various states and theologians and movements and mystics that have followed after Him and his Quran. I have learned a lot about Islam, and been growing in how I think about religion and spirituality from reading this. (I have been just reading one chapter a day, so a still have a few days left before I finish.)
Next I read The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck. Buck was raised in China (her American missionary parents moved there when she was about 2 years old) speaking both English and Chinese. So, while her book has gotten criticism for being a story about 'real' Chinese farmers written by a White American, she was actually pretty informed in what she was writing. The prose is 'simple' to a fault. It reads in an almost train-of-thought flow that shares this Chinese farmer's perspective on the events and people in his life and --impressively for her background-- does this without judgment or any sense of cultural or moral superiority. Buck definitely highlights how awful women's condition was in China, but she makes them and the men in the book real people who interact and think about what best to do with that condition. There are no real heroes in this book--there is a lot of luck, good choices, and bad choices. I don't think this should be the only book you read if you want to understand China-- even if you only want to understand China before 1949-- but is a lovely novel to start with.
I am now reading Soul Mountain by Gao Xingjian, who was the first Chinese author to receive a Nobel Prize for Literature. I am only on page 70 of about 500, so I can't tell you its big picture. Thus far it follows two journeys ('mine' and 'yours', which I suspect might both belong to the author, but at different points in time?) in remote parts of China, searching for meaning and self. At this point, I can already pretty confidently recommend it to anyone who has seen different possible lives/versions of themselves while traveling or meeting new people or investigation new ideas or spending time in nature. Ummm. So pretty much everyone. I guess just if you like to read.
Recently I read The Probability Broach by L. Neil Smith ('recently' and 'finally', as an uncle gave this to me a few years ago and it took a while to catch up with my in my travels). It advertises itself as a "Libertarian science fiction adventure!" and does not disappoint. It is an Alice-down-the-rabbit-hole alternate history, which (while a bit pedantic more than once) is an excellent medium for what the book is trying to do. It shows a USA where the Whiskey Rebellion was successful and its spirit continued to define American politics, and thus provides a model of Libertarian government. It gave me a lot to think about and economically and politically, and the show-not-tell of a novel is a great way to learn a new way of seeing the world (though Smith also does a fair amount of telling through his 'propertarian' characters, so be ready).
I read the first part of A. S. Neill's Summerhill School just before going to Seoul (and then the tone changed a bit in Part 2, and I found new books, and I moved on, fickle reader that I am!). Along with The Life and Work of Maria Montessori by E. M. Standing that I read about a year ago, this helped me re-understand and appreciate my mother's motivation for homeschooling Isaac and I, and gave me a lot of insight into how intellect and emotions develop. Neill founded a school where students are not required to do anything-- if they break something (well, some things) they have to pay for it, and there are rules set by the students and staff together about being quiet at night and such-- but they don't have to go to lessons, ever, if they don't want to. And when students arrive there from the public school system, they don't want to. It takes usually weeks or months and sometimes years before students realize that they WANT to learn and want help doing it. Some students never go to lessons and study entirely on their own, in whatever subjects they like. His students, for the most part, end up successful and generally more confidently creative than their counterparts in public schools.
I have been reading Your Life As Story by Tristine Rainer off and on since I bought it at Prairie Lights in Iowa City in August. It's a book about writing autobiography (if you couldn't tell) and does a lovely job of talking about the squishy ideas of how to write about your life with solid examples and advice-- and a lot of respect for how squishy it is. The paragraph that is sticking out most in my mind is one where she talks about how subjective and changable memories are in time and relationships. Depending on how old I am and who I am talking to, my telling of various events in my life change drastically.
Oh man! And I finally read Watchmen, which was good and thoughtful and educational if also graphic. And earlier this year I read Transmetropolitan at Christian's behest (and he is reading Oracle Bones by Peter Hessler-- which I cannot recommend too strongly if you want to learn about China!). Dystopian futures! Adventure! Good brain food.
I'd love more book recommendations! Love!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Getting a feel for Korea
It took me a while to find Korea. I came as a China Scholar. I still think of myself as a China Scholar. But I came to Korea to be with Christian, to broaden my view of Asia, to calm down and figure myself out, and to earn money. I had a hard time separating my understanding of Korea from my understanding of China-- most of what I saw in Korea were things borrowed from China. I knew that a lot of what I understood as China I should really understand as Asia, but at the same time China has been an 'exporter of culture' for thousands of years in Asia. A lot of things that seem Chinese here are, or were.
... I started this post in a coffee shop in City Hall. I am now sitting at a kind of play/gathering ground (explanation in a moment) by the coast where, bless Korea, there is public wireless internet. There are coffee shops and bakeries popping up all over the place-- a Western fad. (There is also SPAM everywhere-- a product of American military influence in building South Korea's economy after/during the war...) This is a better place to think, and a good example for me to try to untangle my ideas of China and Korea.
There is a long concrete wall behind me. It was I think recently painted a pale yellow, and has raised sculptures of fish and octopodes and Jeju Women Divers. On the other side of the wall is the ocean, which just switched from a deep turquoise to almost black with the setting of the sun, though there were clouds blocking the sunset for an hour or so.
I am sitting on the top of four large concrete steps that lead down to a large concrete court. The concrete is swirls and blocks of color-- blue and pink and yellow, I think, though I have almost always been here when the sun has been low and the yellow streetlamps distorting the color scale. This court ends maybe another hundred feet in front of me, and stretches probably half a mile from side to side. The area far to my right has basketball and other courts. Along the other edge are vendors. Some of them sell food, and most of them are renting some kind of equipment. Bicycles (for 1 to 4 riders), rollerblades and skates and pads, child-sized electric cars, balls to throw around. There is only a small crowd out tonight, as it is Sunday, but there are still lots of families and more than a few sweethearts walking up and down the seawall or riding something around in circles. There is a constant murmur of parents telling their kids not to get so far away, or laughing or cheering their approval of some feat of balance, or children who have run out of feats and need a hug. It sounds like a community.
To get here I walked 20 minutes or so downhill from City Hall. The road I took was full of shops-- bags and shoes and pets and clothes-- and to cross the last main road I had to go underground and walk a hundred feet through the shopping strip that runs for a mile (I think?) under Jungangro. I am drinking a bottle of Tropicana Spirit: Juice100 &Sparkling, White Grape flavor. It was part of a 1+1 deal at the FamilyMart (a Japanese chain which competes with the Korean GS25) near my house. And, you will recall, I have my new black netbook on my knees, surfing the web and writing this to you fine people.
Okay. So, this court/public square feeling area could be in China, more or less. I have seen similar places at the center of cities where rollerblades are rented-- it is a good time in any country! But of course, in China the paved public pedestrian areas big enough for this are the People's Squares in the middle of cities (generally in the place where Something Else stood before 1949). But they are used in much the same way. I didn't ever live near the coast in China, and most of Korea is near the coast-- so we can chalk the salt tang in the air up to geographic differences.
Korea went through its lightning fast economic development in the 60s-80s, so the air here feels calmer as well. In China I often feel heavy with the emotional intensity that comes from Chinese people trying to keep up with the changes of the last century and keep track of their identity-- I say that or something like it often and am never sure if I'm getting quite what I mean across. This feeling is a lot of what makes China fascinating for me, though I struggle with it. I know I still do not have a good feeling for Korea's changes in the last century, because so many people here are so comfortable with them. I don't feel that struggle, but I know I also don't feel whatever was lost in it.
Korea is one of Asia's "four tigers" of economic development, and they* are conscious of being taken as an economic model by other 'developing' countries. My East Asian Economics/Economies** professor liked the description of Asian economies as a flock of geese-- Japan is the lead goose, and Korea, Taiwan, Singapore, and Hong Kong flank it.
As an American (particularly as a white person, sadly) and walking symbol of the economic development that both of these countries are aiming for, I am treated differently here. Differently from the way I am treated in American and differently from the way that most people are treated here. Overall, I am not given as much attention here in Korea, but I am definitely noticed. Understandably, not everyone is sure what to do with me. Do they like what my identity represents? Can they interact with me like a regular person? Can I understand even one word of their language?
The vast majority of people I have encountered in both countries have been incredibly welcoming-- embarassingly so, when I think of the way that foreigners, and especially foreigners who don't speak English, are talked about and treated in America. There are cases of discrimination, but they are not the rule. Definitely the main difference between China and Korea is that in China-- at least if you get away from big tourist areas like Beijing and Shanghai-- people are much more intrigued and excited to see a foreigner. Though I have had people in both countries tell me that I was the first foreigner they had ever talked to, or sometimes even seen in person.
Hmm... I think I'm going to stop here and try to come back with another entry just on Korea in the near future. It's I'm still struggling to put my finger on words to describe how these countries feel so very different. There are here, I'll just keep writing til they come out!
*I say 'they' and mean it in a way that is so general as to be pretty much inaccurate. There are plenty of people here who are contentedly clueless about politics and economic development in a lot of ways, just as there are most places.
**I really love that the lines around concepts are different in every language.
... I started this post in a coffee shop in City Hall. I am now sitting at a kind of play/gathering ground (explanation in a moment) by the coast where, bless Korea, there is public wireless internet. There are coffee shops and bakeries popping up all over the place-- a Western fad. (There is also SPAM everywhere-- a product of American military influence in building South Korea's economy after/during the war...) This is a better place to think, and a good example for me to try to untangle my ideas of China and Korea.
There is a long concrete wall behind me. It was I think recently painted a pale yellow, and has raised sculptures of fish and octopodes and Jeju Women Divers. On the other side of the wall is the ocean, which just switched from a deep turquoise to almost black with the setting of the sun, though there were clouds blocking the sunset for an hour or so.
I am sitting on the top of four large concrete steps that lead down to a large concrete court. The concrete is swirls and blocks of color-- blue and pink and yellow, I think, though I have almost always been here when the sun has been low and the yellow streetlamps distorting the color scale. This court ends maybe another hundred feet in front of me, and stretches probably half a mile from side to side. The area far to my right has basketball and other courts. Along the other edge are vendors. Some of them sell food, and most of them are renting some kind of equipment. Bicycles (for 1 to 4 riders), rollerblades and skates and pads, child-sized electric cars, balls to throw around. There is only a small crowd out tonight, as it is Sunday, but there are still lots of families and more than a few sweethearts walking up and down the seawall or riding something around in circles. There is a constant murmur of parents telling their kids not to get so far away, or laughing or cheering their approval of some feat of balance, or children who have run out of feats and need a hug. It sounds like a community.
To get here I walked 20 minutes or so downhill from City Hall. The road I took was full of shops-- bags and shoes and pets and clothes-- and to cross the last main road I had to go underground and walk a hundred feet through the shopping strip that runs for a mile (I think?) under Jungangro. I am drinking a bottle of Tropicana Spirit: Juice100 &Sparkling, White Grape flavor. It was part of a 1+1 deal at the FamilyMart (a Japanese chain which competes with the Korean GS25) near my house. And, you will recall, I have my new black netbook on my knees, surfing the web and writing this to you fine people.
Okay. So, this court/public square feeling area could be in China, more or less. I have seen similar places at the center of cities where rollerblades are rented-- it is a good time in any country! But of course, in China the paved public pedestrian areas big enough for this are the People's Squares in the middle of cities (generally in the place where Something Else stood before 1949). But they are used in much the same way. I didn't ever live near the coast in China, and most of Korea is near the coast-- so we can chalk the salt tang in the air up to geographic differences.
Korea went through its lightning fast economic development in the 60s-80s, so the air here feels calmer as well. In China I often feel heavy with the emotional intensity that comes from Chinese people trying to keep up with the changes of the last century and keep track of their identity-- I say that or something like it often and am never sure if I'm getting quite what I mean across. This feeling is a lot of what makes China fascinating for me, though I struggle with it. I know I still do not have a good feeling for Korea's changes in the last century, because so many people here are so comfortable with them. I don't feel that struggle, but I know I also don't feel whatever was lost in it.
Korea is one of Asia's "four tigers" of economic development, and they* are conscious of being taken as an economic model by other 'developing' countries. My East Asian Economics/Economies** professor liked the description of Asian economies as a flock of geese-- Japan is the lead goose, and Korea, Taiwan, Singapore, and Hong Kong flank it.
As an American (particularly as a white person, sadly) and walking symbol of the economic development that both of these countries are aiming for, I am treated differently here. Differently from the way I am treated in American and differently from the way that most people are treated here. Overall, I am not given as much attention here in Korea, but I am definitely noticed. Understandably, not everyone is sure what to do with me. Do they like what my identity represents? Can they interact with me like a regular person? Can I understand even one word of their language?
The vast majority of people I have encountered in both countries have been incredibly welcoming-- embarassingly so, when I think of the way that foreigners, and especially foreigners who don't speak English, are talked about and treated in America. There are cases of discrimination, but they are not the rule. Definitely the main difference between China and Korea is that in China-- at least if you get away from big tourist areas like Beijing and Shanghai-- people are much more intrigued and excited to see a foreigner. Though I have had people in both countries tell me that I was the first foreigner they had ever talked to, or sometimes even seen in person.
Hmm... I think I'm going to stop here and try to come back with another entry just on Korea in the near future. It's I'm still struggling to put my finger on words to describe how these countries feel so very different. There are here, I'll just keep writing til they come out!
*I say 'they' and mean it in a way that is so general as to be pretty much inaccurate. There are plenty of people here who are contentedly clueless about politics and economic development in a lot of ways, just as there are most places.
**I really love that the lines around concepts are different in every language.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Expatriation, or something
Possibly the biggest challenge I have been facing in myself is how exciting living in a different country isn't. I mean, yes, I am building awesome friendships with people who have quite different perspectives in life (in some ways, anyway). I am seeing new places, learning new languages.
But I still wake up every day and think about going to work (or other things I would rather be doing). I still get unnecessarily anxious about social situations. I still have to get out of the house and DO things, and it is still just as easy to sit at home on the computer and waste time.
And more than that, it can be lonely. It is harder to start new relationships, though I find the payoff of connection is generally much bigger when friends are coming from different cultures, it is much easier to step on each other's toes by not paying attention to "the things that actually matter" in a relationship-- since we may have quite different ideas about what those are. I don't want to go shopping some days because I don't want to deal with the fear in employee's eyes when they realize they might have to deal with me.
I don't mean to be complaining, really. I know I am very lucky to be here and am grateful for the experiences I am having and the ways there are making me grow. There are just always people now and then who tell me that they are impressed that I can live here, and (aside from just not being very good at taking compliments) I always want to shout "Don't be!" I am dealing with most of the same problems that I dealt with in my life in Iowa.
I continually realize that no matter what exciting scenery I find for myself, I will always be me. I am lucky, but if any of my family and friends still in America (or wherever their home country) moved to a new country, they would very quickly discover that I have done some things well, but that they could do a lot of things better.
But I still wake up every day and think about going to work (or other things I would rather be doing). I still get unnecessarily anxious about social situations. I still have to get out of the house and DO things, and it is still just as easy to sit at home on the computer and waste time.
And more than that, it can be lonely. It is harder to start new relationships, though I find the payoff of connection is generally much bigger when friends are coming from different cultures, it is much easier to step on each other's toes by not paying attention to "the things that actually matter" in a relationship-- since we may have quite different ideas about what those are. I don't want to go shopping some days because I don't want to deal with the fear in employee's eyes when they realize they might have to deal with me.
I don't mean to be complaining, really. I know I am very lucky to be here and am grateful for the experiences I am having and the ways there are making me grow. There are just always people now and then who tell me that they are impressed that I can live here, and (aside from just not being very good at taking compliments) I always want to shout "Don't be!" I am dealing with most of the same problems that I dealt with in my life in Iowa.
I continually realize that no matter what exciting scenery I find for myself, I will always be me. I am lucky, but if any of my family and friends still in America (or wherever their home country) moved to a new country, they would very quickly discover that I have done some things well, but that they could do a lot of things better.
Rooting
Traveling in the Midwest was wonderful. It made me feel 100x more connected to my whole life story, and less like I am in a dangling chapter at the end. I had the chance to hang out with two different friends I hadn't seen in years (one I hadn't seen at all for a couple of years, I think, and hadn't seen satisfactorily for 3 or 4 and the other I hadn't seen for 5 years). Just seeing my family and america-friends was lovely and empowering, but seeing those two in particular made me feel more complete.
Every person I saw showed me a different part of myself. I have friends and family who are pursuing all sorts of different lives, and I feel very privileged to be able to witness them. It also made me feel much better about where I am. Being on this side of the world, it is easy to think about what I 'would be doing' in America, to think about all of the other paths that I have not chosen (ummmm I guess I would be doing this anywhere. Heh). In any case, it was really nice to realize that while I have not figured everything out about who I want to be and what I want to do, I have learned and I have grown. Connecting with old friends helped me to see this, partially by letting me see their successful lives and realize that I have success in the things I want. Partially by reminding me of who I was and who they were the last time we connected, and letting me see how much we both have grown.
I am collecting perspectives and experiences. Learning about myself and about the world, and if that keeps me a little overwhelmed and not quite on my feet for a while, I think that's okay!
I am sitting right now in a coffee shop in 'city hall' in Jeju City. (The city center in most towns is called this. There is an actually City Hall building, but this whole area is called city hall, or sicheong.) It is a beautiful early-fall day outside. I took a long way getting here from the apartment I am sharing with a family. I walked down a road I hadn't before and discovered a lot of little restaurants to investigate, and stopped into a bookstore that just moved from city hall. I bought a korean photo-dictionary. And now I am going to study some Chinese, maybe study some Korean, and do some private writing!
Love!
Every person I saw showed me a different part of myself. I have friends and family who are pursuing all sorts of different lives, and I feel very privileged to be able to witness them. It also made me feel much better about where I am. Being on this side of the world, it is easy to think about what I 'would be doing' in America, to think about all of the other paths that I have not chosen (ummmm I guess I would be doing this anywhere. Heh). In any case, it was really nice to realize that while I have not figured everything out about who I want to be and what I want to do, I have learned and I have grown. Connecting with old friends helped me to see this, partially by letting me see their successful lives and realize that I have success in the things I want. Partially by reminding me of who I was and who they were the last time we connected, and letting me see how much we both have grown.
I am collecting perspectives and experiences. Learning about myself and about the world, and if that keeps me a little overwhelmed and not quite on my feet for a while, I think that's okay!
I am sitting right now in a coffee shop in 'city hall' in Jeju City. (The city center in most towns is called this. There is an actually City Hall building, but this whole area is called city hall, or sicheong.) It is a beautiful early-fall day outside. I took a long way getting here from the apartment I am sharing with a family. I walked down a road I hadn't before and discovered a lot of little restaurants to investigate, and stopped into a bookstore that just moved from city hall. I bought a korean photo-dictionary. And now I am going to study some Chinese, maybe study some Korean, and do some private writing!
Love!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Dear Blog, I am sorry for neglecting you...
I just deleted 5 half-written and unpublished posts from this blog. I have had a difficult time writing anything more than ANGST! and CONFUSION! since May-ish, which is odd because since then I have been feeling more and more calm and confident (and have been perceived as such by others, including my adept-at-sensing-bullshit Mother, so probably it's true!).
I love you, blog, and I am going to work on arranging my thoughts so I can share them with you constructively.
In the meantime, have this Symphony of Science video. I love them so much!
I love you, blog, and I am going to work on arranging my thoughts so I can share them with you constructively.
In the meantime, have this Symphony of Science video. I love them so much!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
In America!
I have been starting and abandoning posts regularly since my last one in may, on my identity as an American and a resident of Asia, on my growing understanding of Korea as separate from China (bringing some more definition to my picture of Asia), and a couple of times just simple "here I am" updates. I have been distracted by the advent of Beach Season on my island, and also just switched over into quieter and more face-to-face forms of mental processing.
But this week is the first of my visit home this year! I flew into Chicago on Saturday and spent a lovely Sunday with a dear friend exploring and am now in Ames. If you are in or near Ames, too, please don't be unhappy with me for not spending time with you yet. I have been almost entirely at my mother's house sorting through and condensing yet again all the belongings I left here. I will be down to a few boxes of books and notebooks and one tub of a few clothes and toys I want to hand down (I think). My mother is moving out of her house, and I am living in Asia for at least another year. So everything I own is future-use-only or coming to Asia, and I don't want to leave much sitting in other people's space.
I am telling you this now because I am also dealing with some jetlag. I did an excellent job of sleeping (only) during the night while in Chicago, but in Ames I have been staying up later working and been more anxious. I find myself now at 5am, with a skype date in three hours, a dinner date eight or so hours after that, and lots left to do in the meantime. I have run into enough walls trying to decide what to keep and ship and give away that I know I can't make more decisions tonight, and all the work that doesn't involve decisions is rather clunky, and I don't want to interfere with my mother's sleep any more than I have. Anyway.
Packing for a year or more (well, I left almost everything in Korea, so it's not exactly packing) always brings a lot of anxiety; I feel like I have to make all the decisions about what I will read and use and do in the next year or so RIGHT NOW. That isn't actually true, of course, but it feels like it.
My life in Korea is good. Christian is probably coming back to Korea a couple months after I go back at the end of August. I am living with a Korean family right now (or rather, my things are) and will probably be finding a new place to live on my own when I return. (My current apartment was supposed to be a sublease and has turned into a homestay, and though the family is all-around lovely I really want to have my own space.) I live surrounded by beaches. I am studying languages (once my books get to Jeju, also hydrology!) and working towards being ready for grad school. I am so grateful to have this stint in the Midwest again to see everyone. I hope I see you soon, wherever you are!
But this week is the first of my visit home this year! I flew into Chicago on Saturday and spent a lovely Sunday with a dear friend exploring and am now in Ames. If you are in or near Ames, too, please don't be unhappy with me for not spending time with you yet. I have been almost entirely at my mother's house sorting through and condensing yet again all the belongings I left here. I will be down to a few boxes of books and notebooks and one tub of a few clothes and toys I want to hand down (I think). My mother is moving out of her house, and I am living in Asia for at least another year. So everything I own is future-use-only or coming to Asia, and I don't want to leave much sitting in other people's space.
I am telling you this now because I am also dealing with some jetlag. I did an excellent job of sleeping (only) during the night while in Chicago, but in Ames I have been staying up later working and been more anxious. I find myself now at 5am, with a skype date in three hours, a dinner date eight or so hours after that, and lots left to do in the meantime. I have run into enough walls trying to decide what to keep and ship and give away that I know I can't make more decisions tonight, and all the work that doesn't involve decisions is rather clunky, and I don't want to interfere with my mother's sleep any more than I have. Anyway.
Packing for a year or more (well, I left almost everything in Korea, so it's not exactly packing) always brings a lot of anxiety; I feel like I have to make all the decisions about what I will read and use and do in the next year or so RIGHT NOW. That isn't actually true, of course, but it feels like it.
My life in Korea is good. Christian is probably coming back to Korea a couple months after I go back at the end of August. I am living with a Korean family right now (or rather, my things are) and will probably be finding a new place to live on my own when I return. (My current apartment was supposed to be a sublease and has turned into a homestay, and though the family is all-around lovely I really want to have my own space.) I live surrounded by beaches. I am studying languages (once my books get to Jeju, also hydrology!) and working towards being ready for grad school. I am so grateful to have this stint in the Midwest again to see everyone. I hope I see you soon, wherever you are!
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