Sunday, October 25, 2009

I need to stop compulsively buying bread-products

I decided I needed a break from my room and my books this afternoon and went to the store. I purchased some "High Fiber Wheat Bread" whose brand logo includes stars and stripes, so I am reassured that I am in their intended market. Their brand name, "Mankattan," is a little disheartening, but I'll take it.

Last week, I purchased some "Well Chosen Oatmeal" from Lubin. It has served me well.

I also found a produce store that sells my beloved Juse VERY cheap, and sells good quality fruit. So that's exciting.

I have been sick this week. It's kind of sad, but if you all will consider for a moment my track record of illness which generally includes one or two bouts of flu or something similar every year and keeps me out of school for at least half a week or so each semester, the fact that I have digestive problems, allergies, and am just generally a weenie, I think that you will appreciate my accomplishment in not getting sick in China for two whole MONTHS. These months including solo international flights, busy orientation schedules, solo cross-country train rides, and the stress of taking classes in Chinese.

Xiaoxuan has, of course, been very helpful in taking care of me. I have not been awfully sick. I missed one class Friday morning because I concluded I would not be able to focus enough to understand a Chinese lecture, and the sound me trying to breath with my raspy lungs and plugged-up nose might also impede my classmates' comprehension. Xiaoxuan has been instructing me on what I am and am not allowed to eat (my peanuts are too heavy and full of oil, so on my shelf they sit, and wait for me) and reminding me to drink lots of water. We went out to eat yesterday, and to the supermarket a couple of days ago, and she consulted me on the health benefits of different dishes I was considering. I have been calling her "Doctor Hao," (in English) which makes her and any of her friends who happen to be in the vicinity laugh every time. So, y'know, overall this illness hasn't been much of a downer.

I was talking to Shirin, a friend I met in Macau who's attending Nanjing Univerity, about how strange that kind of is. Usually when I am sick it is an emotional as well as physical affliction. I can't concentrate, I am exhausted, and I quickly become depressed with my inability to do anything. I've been very cheerful with my cold-symptoms and low-grade fever for the last few days, and they are both on their way out. I had some very strange fever-dreams Wednesday night. One of them which I wrote down is entitled "The Devil is a Stop Sign," if you're curious. Both my mother and Christian Yetter can attest that it is quite trippy.

Anyway.

I just bought my plane tickets to Korea over winter break. I'll land on Jeju-do at 1:40pm on January 10th! Woohoo!

I'm also plotting out my plans for Thanksgiving break. Since most of the country will not be off work (different from our two other week-long breaks) it's a prime time to travel. I think I am going to be heading to Shanghai for a couple of days to get my Korean visa and travel around, and then stay in a hostel in Suzhou for the rest of the time, and see how much time I can spend near Tai Lake, whose management challenges I am researching for my Environmental Economics term paper.

Since I've been sick, I did not meet with my Five Project family today, but I'll be heading to their house next week to hang out again.

I have my first presentation in a Chinese language class tomorrow. I'm talking about representations of the famine during the Great Leap Forward in the movie The Blue Kite, and in one of our class texts.

Okay, I think I've procrastinated my International Politics readings for about as long as I can justify. I'd like to leave you with another music video; Year of the Rat by Badly Drawn Boy. I think that the title is meant to signify a time of great opportunity, but it actually doesn't matter at all. Just watch the video (er, if you'd like).

Sunday, October 18, 2009

// but ain't none of the glory mine

I spent time with my Five Project family for the second time today. I wasn't really sure how it was going to work out after meeting with them last week. As I said- although the goals and participants of the Five Project are clearly explained, they assumed I could tell them how autism is understood and worked with in the US. I can tell them about the people I've met, of course, but my goal in this project is just to build a friendship and support them. I don't have any expertise. The father, son, and a young cousin came to the HNC today and we hung out in the courtyard for a little over an hour. It was a little uncomfortable at first as we got used to the place and the father kept trying to make his son be polite, or whatever, for me. Which isn't really a concept that applies to people with autism, in my understanding. They communicate what they are experiencing to the best of their ability, which is simultaneously much less and much more than many of us are capable of.

Anyway, after a while the father decided he was ok with me just hanging out with his son (he stayed in the courtyard- one of his parents is going to be there at all times to make sure his needs are taken care of). I talked to him a bit, but sadly cannot really understand much when he talks. Most of his communication is nonverbal anyway, though, so it's less of a problem than with most people. He feels strongly about the value of picking up leaves and flowers and putting his hands in water. On these things we agree.

I am continually trying to get my head around what is happening when I (or a classmate) try to communicate outside of our native language. Much of the time I am still thinking in English, so Chinese feels like an extra layer that blocks me from the meaning behind someone's words. I try to trace the meaning of Chinese words by lining up the points of English I know they touch, but this keeps me at least one step removed from the deeper form and significance of what is being said. I am trying to shift to thinking in Chinese and just filling in the necessary gaps with English, but it's coming in more fits than starts, I feel.

NOTE: the title of this and the previous entry are lyrics from Gnarls Barkley's song "A Little Better" They ain't mine.

Friday, October 16, 2009

well, I can sing you a storyline// and if you like my story, fine

Well, dear ones, here I am again. I was not very busy at all over the National Day break, but I spent most of my extra time letting myself just be in Nanjing without having to do anything. I did a bit of reading and a good deal of thinking for all of my classes, and also a bit of random wandering around the city.
Xiaoxuan and I (with a few other classmates) had decided to get out and see some of the sights in Nanjing during our week off, but our trip to 夫子庙 (Fuzi Miao- the Confucious temple) convinced us that this was not a good plan. The crowd exemplified the Chinese phrase 人山人海 (ren shan ren hai- mountains and seas of people). Xiaoxuan and Rong Fan both asked me at different times if I had ever seen crowds like that in the US. I told them ‘kind of.’ I’ve seen groups of people that tightly packed in big cities or big malls in the US, but the knowledge in China that this population density stretches across such vast areas, the knowledge that in Nanjing I am surrounded by 8 million people in one (granted, quite large) municipality, is overwhelming on a new level. That evening we decided against paying 30 yuan to go into the park itself and instead walked back to “Aqua City,” a large shopping complex with a lot of expensive foreign stores. I bought myself a coke and just walked around looking at people and stores, explaining that in the US most of my clothes come from second-hand stores. Clothes in most stores were about as much as new American clothes are in the US, some slightly more expensive since it is so foreign and fashionable.
Another evening an American friend and I ventured to Nanjing’s Downtown. We, again, mostly just walked around. She needed a set of drawers for her closet, and we both decided it was wise to buy economy-packs of toilet paper. We quickly realized, however, that the evening before National Day was not the best choice of times. We found ourselves heading home around the same time (about 10:30pm) that the vast majority of taxi drivers had decided was quittin’ time. After half an hour or so of unsuccessfully trying to hail a cab at one of the busiest intersections in downtown Nanjing, Stephanie left me standing by the side of the road with her drawers and our collective 40-or-so rolls of toilet paper and ventured upstream to try her luck in less populated waters. About another 20 minutes later she pulled up in a taxi, with the driver crying “hurry! I’m not supposed to stop here!” I threw the TP in the backseat and pulled the drawers in behind me. We had a lovely chat with the driver on the way home. Also: we made it home. I called it a win.
I actually started drawing over break, which I’ve hardly ever done before. I don’t let myself draw, I say “I can’t draw,” because I’m not very good at making realistic pictures. It is, however, a fantastic exercise for my brain to just let myself start filling a page with shapes. It’s interesting, because when I worked at Prairie Flower (Waldorf) Preschool, that’s what we told kids to do. Not to worry about what they were representing, but just to enjoy the process of colors happening on paper. But I still feel like it’s illigetimate a lot of the time, I stop myself from picking up my pencil because I don’t know what will be on the page when I finish. I’ve (once again) proven to myself that this doesn’t matter. I’ve got a few pages that are really fun, if not amazing technically. And drawing them helped me wake up my brain in ways that no amount of article-reading or paper-writing can.
Let’s see. I’ve let too much time pass and am going to dump a lot of stories on you at once, I’m afraid.
I met with a family last Sunday through The Five Project, with hooks volunteers up with families of children and young adults with autism or other mental challenges. They assumed that since I was American I could tell them all about how autism is treated in the US and what they should do with their son. I, and the Five Project coordinator who came with me, corrected them that I just want to provide a “friendship” flavor of support, and they seemed like they might be ok with that. They’re coming by the Center this Sunday afternoon, and we’ll see if we can make our relationship productive. Their son was very sweet. He learned my name and made eye contact (on his parents’ promptings) and thanked me for coming to their home. I think his memory of me, however, will be most involved with the strange way my hand smelled (like my soap, I hope), which formed the main topic of our personal interaction.
I am helping out at a weekend school where another friend works tomorrow morning. More on that after it’s happened, perhaps :)
…You can, perhaps, tell that I decided a while ago that I was spending too much time on the Center and with other Center students, and have been trying to add more variety to my schedule. I may have overdone it, but not of my weekend commitments come with obligation at this point, so it should work out happily in the end.
My conversations with classmates are benefitting as we all get more comfortable in our “target” languages and are feeling like we can talk about real things, and not just what we are doing today or which state or province we were born in. That is really cool. Hmm. I’m having trouble saying something both meaningful and Chinese-internet-appropriate about them, though. I’ll report back when I can articulate myself.
To complete your snapshot of my life: other than the above, I spend time just about every day talkin’ to a cool dude in South Korea, some more time wishin’ I was in South Korea with him, a fair amount of time reading, a lot of time twirling my hair and staring out of windows, and am happy almost all of the time.
All’s well in Nanjing, friends.