// but ain't none of the glory mine

I spent time with my Five Project family for the second time today. I wasn't really sure how it was going to work out after meeting with them last week. As I said- although the goals and participants of the Five Project are clearly explained, they assumed I could tell them how autism is understood and worked with in the US. I can tell them about the people I've met, of course, but my goal in this project is just to build a friendship and support them. I don't have any expertise. The father, son, and a young cousin came to the HNC today and we hung out in the courtyard for a little over an hour. It was a little uncomfortable at first as we got used to the place and the father kept trying to make his son be polite, or whatever, for me. Which isn't really a concept that applies to people with autism, in my understanding. They communicate what they are experiencing to the best of their ability, which is simultaneously much less and much more than many of us are capable of.

Anyway, after a while the father decided he was ok with me just hanging out with his son (he stayed in the courtyard- one of his parents is going to be there at all times to make sure his needs are taken care of). I talked to him a bit, but sadly cannot really understand much when he talks. Most of his communication is nonverbal anyway, though, so it's less of a problem than with most people. He feels strongly about the value of picking up leaves and flowers and putting his hands in water. On these things we agree.

I am continually trying to get my head around what is happening when I (or a classmate) try to communicate outside of our native language. Much of the time I am still thinking in English, so Chinese feels like an extra layer that blocks me from the meaning behind someone's words. I try to trace the meaning of Chinese words by lining up the points of English I know they touch, but this keeps me at least one step removed from the deeper form and significance of what is being said. I am trying to shift to thinking in Chinese and just filling in the necessary gaps with English, but it's coming in more fits than starts, I feel.

NOTE: the title of this and the previous entry are lyrics from Gnarls Barkley's song "A Little Better" They ain't mine.