In America!

I have been starting and abandoning posts regularly since my last one in may, on my identity as an American and a resident of Asia, on my growing understanding of Korea as separate from China (bringing some more definition to my picture of Asia), and a couple of times just simple "here I am" updates. I have been distracted by the advent of Beach Season on my island, and also just switched over into quieter and more face-to-face forms of mental processing.

But this week is the first of my visit home this year! I flew into Chicago on Saturday and spent a lovely Sunday with a dear friend exploring and am now in Ames. If you are in or near Ames, too, please don't be unhappy with me for not spending time with you yet. I have been almost entirely at my mother's house sorting through and condensing yet again all the belongings I left here. I will be down to a few boxes of books and notebooks and one tub of a few clothes and toys I want to hand down (I think). My mother is moving out of her house, and I am living in Asia for at least another year. So everything I own is future-use-only or coming to Asia, and I don't want to leave much sitting in other people's space.

I am telling you this now because I am also dealing with some jetlag. I did an excellent job of sleeping (only) during the night while in Chicago, but in Ames I have been staying up later working and been more anxious. I find myself now at 5am, with a skype date in three hours, a dinner date eight or so hours after that, and lots left to do in the meantime. I have run into enough walls trying to decide what to keep and ship and give away that I know I can't make more decisions tonight, and all the work that doesn't involve decisions is rather clunky, and I don't want to interfere with my mother's sleep any more than I have. Anyway.

Packing for a year or more (well, I left almost everything in Korea, so it's not exactly packing) always brings a lot of anxiety; I feel like I have to make all the decisions about what I will read and use and do in the next year or so RIGHT NOW. That isn't actually true, of course, but it feels like it.

My life in Korea is good. Christian is probably coming back to Korea a couple months after I go back at the end of August. I am living with a Korean family right now (or rather, my things are) and will probably be finding a new place to live on my own when I return. (My current apartment was supposed to be a sublease and has turned into a homestay, and though the family is all-around lovely I really want to have my own space.) I live surrounded by beaches. I am studying languages (once my books get to Jeju, also hydrology!) and working towards being ready for grad school. I am so grateful to have this stint in the Midwest again to see everyone. I hope I see you soon, wherever you are!