A new year

I was in Seoul when my grandmother passed away, on my way to visit Xiaoxuan and her family for the Lunar New Year in China. I felt very far away and it still (two weeks later) doesn't feel very real, though I have been trying to call my grandfather regularly to stay connected to him and this new reality.

I flew to from Seoul's Incheon Airport to Beijing Capital Airport a few hours later with no problems except a few minutes of tension as I realized I hadn't used my US debit card in months and wasn't sure how on earth I'd remember the PIN so I could withdraw money for a cab to go meet Shirin. My Jedi mind tricks, however, recovered it from the recesses of my mind on only the second try. The taxi driver proceeded to take me for a ride, as cab drivers in China universally don't feel bad about ripping off americans as we are so obviously rolling in money, but other than that the travel part of the day went well.

It was a very surreal week of travel, with my mind trying to adjust to being in a different country and often wishing that I was in the US. I kept Grandma and Grandpa in my thoughts and tried also to be present in the family gatherings that Xiaoxuan was kind enough to invite me to join.

At her father's parents' house I met aunts and uncles and a couple of cousins, and her cousin's two year old daughter, who really wasn't sure what to think of my at first but decided that I was alright after we spent some time drawing (read: scribbling randomly) together. We stayed up late watching the national dance/music/and sketch performances. We headed home around 11pm, I think, and after getting ready for bed it was just about midnight and we watch out of the bay window of Xiaoxuan's family's 8th floor apartment at the storm of fireworks in every direction. It was impressive. Everyone went to bed shortly after that, as we had to wake up extra early to return to her paternal grandparents' house to eat new year's dumplings and set off a few fireworks of our own.

Grandma's funeral was New Year's Day in China. I spent the day (except for breakfast) with Xiaoxuan's maternal extended family-- her mother's parents and brother. We ate well, of course, and her grandfather showed me a VERY complicated puzzle which I was not able to solve. I played Mazhang with Xx, her mother, and her grandmother. I lost, of course, but I held my own. Her father asked me if Americans just don't like humor because I hadn't been getting all of his jokes. I told him we did, but I am rather slow on the uptake in Chinese language conversations. He remains skeptic.

That night for me was the time of Grandma's funeral, as it was in the early afternoon in Iowa. I said prayers and thought about my family alone after everyone else was asleep-- I had talked to Xiaoxuan about Grandma a couple of times but mostly was still processing by myself. It was a gift to be welcomed into a family that week, strange though it was that it wasn't my own family in Iowa.