I've kind of let myself be haunted lately, I think. I am constantly berating myself for the work I have not been doing, and thus exhausting myself before I even look at my 'to do' lists. I've been telling myself all the reasons why it's ok for me not to be accomplishing more, instead of just doing what I can and then giving myself a break. I am simultaneously telling myself how disappointed I am with my attitude this semester and making excuses for myself about why I shouldn't have to do any more than I am.
I need to just get over myself. I have the opportunity to learn at the U of Iowa for a few more weeks, and use the academic abilities I have been fostering in a few more projects. I will get something out of all of my classes and then I will be done. There is no reason to guilt myself for senioritis-quality work or give up. I have beautiful friends to support me, and little other than school to worry about right now (and I know how lucky that makes me!).
Also, I need to stop letting short-term worries keep me from doing things that are long-term valuable. A dear friend and counselor told me in the midst of late-semester stress a year or so ago that there will ALWAYS be a hundred urgent little things that need to be done today, and a few important things that make life worth living but don't have deadlines. Do the important ones. I need to turn in assignments -they serve a long-term purpose as well- but relationships with the people I love and serving humanity and making the world a better place should be part of every day I spend on this planet.
Writing these thoughts down really helps me take them more seriously, yo.
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